Underground black market behavior is being blamed for illegal, unfinished, copies of the Wilson Beacon being placed on eBay. According to the eBay listing shown here, the end of the auction resulted in a $50 price tag for a single issue of the paper! The staff here at the Beacon certainly agree that their hard work is worth the $50, however they believe that keeping it free is the heart of Wilson. Not much is known about how the pre-published papers were placed on the auction site, but this has led to skepticism on the part of writers and editors about the security measures in place designed to keep the dear Beacon safe. Clearly, these high-priced Beacons are valued collectors’ items and it has been reported that among the gambling crowd, high odds are placed on stories most likely to covered next. How this works is students make predictions on topics to be featured, place a bet on it, and make some extra side cash if they win. This hurts our community as it spreads gambling throughout our halls, bathrooms, and classrooms. Shame, shame on you gamblers. Oh, and my bet for this month is on an article about the 24-hour play thingy. •

*This article is satire and did not actually happen.