For those who don’t know, senioritis is a crippling condition in which second semester seniors no longer feel obligated to arrive on time, let alone attend class. They often make up excuses about being sick and or attending sporting events. Unrelatedly, as the first semester came to a close, all seniors mysteriously became ill and were forced to leave school for weekly doctor’s appointments. 

Due to the severity of our sickness, we are saddened not to be able to attend our favorite classes, like Statistics, US Government, English Literature, and DC History. Even while writing this article I can’t maintain a straight face, as I would quite literally rather watch the trees change colors than die slowly in DC History. 

The dedication seniors displayed during the first seven semesters of high school is quickly diminishing as we get into college. School is steadily transforming into a side quest as avoiding irritating teachers and/or classmates, socializing, and sleeping— my personal favorite activity— become the priority. Remarkably, some seniors still represent what it means to be a Jackson-Reed Tiger: they enjoy going to school every day at 9:00 a.m. (sometimes arriving as early as 8:30), they’re never late to class, and they plan to keep up these habits for the rest of the year. Those kids are called NPCs. 

All seriousness aside, I can’t come up with a legitimate reason to magnify my misery and sit through all six of my classes. While some seniors want to just enjoy their last months of high school, others have more pressing things to do, like preparing for college, applying for internships, or working. Most seniors know they would get more work done by skipping class, as pretending to pay attention just inhibits their productivity. 

However, there are a few reasons to continue showing up to class. For those taking Advanced Placement courses, going to class every day is essential to understanding the content and preparing oneself for the battle that is AP season—especially if you’re taking any of those rigorous APs such as Chemistry, Calculus, or Physics C. (Notice how all those are STEM classes…calm down humanities students, I was joking; every senior everywhere is suffering through AP Lit.) With that being said, after May 12 (the last day of AP Exams), I hope teachers prepare themselves for the second wave of sickness that will plague even the most studious seniors. 

I would now like to take the time to seriously discuss the repercussions of a second semester senior occasionally missing class: 

Now that I’ve acknowledged these consequences, I just want to add that I’m a professional procrastinator. I do not advise anyone else to replicate my actions; however, if you do, just make sure not to let your grades slip too low. You could find yourself repeating the grade, having to spend another year with senioritis.