Second Chance: Steak N Egg 3.7/5

We begrudgingly made our way back to the sore loser of the milkshake review, hoping to give them a second chance to prove themselves with a challenge a little more in their wheelhouse, given the advertisement in their name. The strange scent still lingered inside the restaurant, and was just as off-putting as last time. The sandwich, however, delivered on the ‘egg’ promise. It was a delicious breakfast sandwich, and our only qualm was that it seemingly didn’t have any cheese. We suppose they’re not called Steak N Egg N Cheese; that would be too much to ask for. 

Just…eh: Dunkin’ 2.6/5

Sadly, we’ve been to this Dunkin Donuts more times than we’d like. However, we’d never tried their breakfast sandwich before. After waiting 20 minutes being serenaded by Dunkin Radio, it finally arrived and was…..very mid. Served on a croissant, it was pretty greasy but lacking the flavor to justify the grease. Would we get it on a road trip? Yeah, sure. Would we ever seek it out again? Nope. 

Downright Malicious: Whole Foods 1/5

We then made our way to Whole Foods, where we found what was labeled as a breakfast sandwich, hidden away in the hot bar. But this was no hidden gem. It was stowed out of sight for a reason: to protect the public from consuming what can only be described as a bland, mushy blob of nothing. In terms of composition, it was a rectangular prism of egg, topped with a slice of cheese, sandwiched in the middle of an English muffin. The sandwich was so soggy that it took upon an entirely homogeneous texture, and lacked any flavor whatsoever. This was the only sandwich of the day that we could not finish. After a meager but nauseating bite each, this went straight to the trash can; we wouldn’t wish this on anyone. 

Napoleon complex: Chick-fil-A 3/5

The first thing we noticed when we got the Chick-fil-A breakfast sandwich was that it was tiny. If you really tried, you could finish it in two bites. But as you should know, it’s not about size, it’s how you use it. And boy did Chick-fil-A use it. Despite lacking in size, the biscuit was great (obviously) and overall taste was solid. However, for $5.20, we want a little more bang for our buck.

Pitiful: Panera 2/5

As always, Panera was exceedingly expensive and extremely underwhelming. This breakfast sandwich came in a fancy box that only briefly wowed us before we opened it and realized that $7.20 had just been dropped on a lame excuse of a breakfast sandwich. Panera always gets overzealous when it comes to their food, when they obviously lack the capacity to execute beyond a very basic level. They just had to make their sandwich an over-easy egg (try over-hard), applewood-smoked bacon (see: bland), and aged white cheddar (dusty) on brioche. Sorry crew kids, but we’ll have to pass on Panera once again. 

Size matters: Wawa 4/5

Wawa does not play games. They mean business. When we ordered a breakfast sandwich, we balked at the price ($8), but we were not disappointed when we received a sandwich easily twice the size of the competition. Cut in half, it undoubtedly would have passed for two $6 sandwiches at Panera (if Panera could even produce something this quality). And it was good, too. The bread was grilled to perfection, eggs creamy, and high-quality crispy bacon. This was the Goliath to the David of Chick-fil-A, except this time Goliath won.

Actually good?: McDonald’s 3.8/5

McDonald’s never overpromises and always delivers (unless you want ice cream). We were pleasantly surprised with a biscuit sandwich that was competitive with the likes of Chick-fil-A at lower cost, a more generous portion, and faster (Chick-fil-A likes to take their sweet time).