Contrary to the beliefs of many fellow students, I am convinced that teachers are human. As a young woman in STEM with a respect for the scientific process, I feel the need to prove this theory with hard evidence. Human beings need to eat food, and therefore, via transitive property, teachers must also eat food if they are in fact human. 

In order to prove my theory, I set out to find a teacher recipe and determine if it is in fact made of food. I took my search to the only logical place, the place that I was in the moment when I agreed to do this article, science teacher Christopher Martineau’s classroom. I told The Martineau about the article and he said to come back at lunch, and come back I did. He listed off ingredients and instructions as I frantically copied down as much as I could into a notes app file titled “Marty’s Veggie Lasagna.” 

With my mission in hand and in heart, I set off to find the ingredients, which were easy to find, but as an indecisive person, I struggled with the quantities of each ingredient, because when I asked Mr. Martineau how much of each ingredient I needed, he responded with “enough.” 

When I expressed my struggles to my parents they repeatedly said that if there’s no quantities, it’s not really a recipe, which according to the Google definition of a recipe, is not true, leaving Martineau’s name untarnished and my parents looking silly. 

The assembly process was lengthy, and in total it took about 2.5 hours to complete the dish, not including cooling time. The final lasagna was delicious, with a perfect ratio of cheese to vegetables to noodles, a ratio that I achieved as a result of my own intuition because there were no measurements provided other than cheese, he was very clear about the cheese. One pound of ricotta, half a pound of mozzarella.  

I honestly think it was better than the traditional meat lasagnas I’ve eaten my whole life. It was a great dinner for a large group and the leftovers sustained my family for two days, which is more than I can say for most meals. It was a worthwhile endeavor and produced delicious results, results that were, in a word, food, proving my theory on the humanity of teachers.