With seniors now in the middle of college application season, “What colleges are you applying to?” has become a default conversation starter. For some it’s an exciting question, for some, it’s stress-inducing, but for others, it is a question with an answer they will have to defend.
Our school is full of really smart students. Last year alone, there were quite a few Ivy League-bound graduates (which is incredible); but the expectations students have created for themselves encourage a critical and judgmental mindset around college choices.
When talking to a close friend of mine about college applications, she mentioned that she dislikes telling people where she applied because people have acted disgusted by her choices. This shared experience reflects the belief going around the student body, whether consciously or subconsciously, that if a school isn’t the most prestigious or has a higher acceptance rate, it isn’t worth the time of day. Some even go as far as to comment that because a peer doesn’t want to go to a difficult school, they lack ambition and drive. When she was accepted into certain colleges, the reactions of others diminished her joy. While some people would be happy for her, others would look down their noses after learning which school it was.
Many students seem to forget that just because a school is more competitive, it does not mean it is better for a person. Most seniors have heard some version of the phrase “it’s important to find the school for you, not just the school that’s famous.” I understand, though, that it’s easy to forget that advice when you are in a room filled with people who are applying to impressive, highly selective schools, out of peer pressure. It’s too easy to compare acceptance rates and use them as a tool to measure who’s smarter or who’s more likely to be accepted.
But the college process is nerve-wracking for everyone, as it is based around competition, and this mindset fosters a competitive nature and creates insecurity over school acceptances. This has created an environment at Jackson-Reed where students are reluctant to mention where they applied because they don’t want to be told it’s not a “smart enough” school or they’re strange for not wanting to go to big-name schools.
Even students who do want to go to these well-known schools face resistance for simply making a college choice. Overachievers receive eye-rolls for saying their dream school is competitive because “of course, they would want to go there” or “they’re the reason why I can’t get in.”
Those who do get in are told they were accepted because their dream school was actually an easy one to get into, and isn’t as big an accomplishment as they think. No one is benefiting from these explicit criticisms and “suggestions” of how they should approach their post-grad plan, but instead highlighting how toxic our view of success has become.
Our school has a lot of people who are going to take many different paths in life. Maybe they get into an Ivy League or maybe they don’t go to college at all, but whatever they do, they shouldn’t have to feel like they’re on the stand for their choices about their future. It doesn’t mean they lack ambition or they’re not good enough to succeed, it just means they want different things and that does not make them lesser than anyone else.
