Calculator
I don’t understand why we have to solve math problems by hand. When am I ever going to be on a deserted island without a calculator needing to solve a math problem? Just let me use the freaking calculator and don’t act like it’s insane that I still count on my fingers. If you’re someone who finds joy in solving math problems on paper, I am genuinely impressed. But for the rest of us, can we all agree that we can just use a calculator from now on. As AI and calculators advance, I shouldn’t be stressed when I forget to bring a pencil to math class.
Samples
Picture this: you’re at Whole Foods at 12:34 pm, it’s probably time to return to school, but some cube-shaped cheeses are calling your name. Upon arriving at the cheese table, you are met with no samples. Devastating. Buying the $6.79 box of cubed cheese is not an option. Now imagine this: you’re at Trader Joe’s at 6:49 pm on a Wednesday. You go to the sample table, which sometimes serves scrumptious pie samples. But today? No samples. Devastating. Grocery stores, would you be so kind as to provide a schedule for free samples so I can plan my visits accordingly? Thank you.
Chill out
Jackson-Reed needs to take a chill pill. I cannot stand the hustle and bustle anymore. As we enter the last quarter, I find myself (a Junior) experiencing severe senioritis, as naturally many of us do, so let’s all make a collective effort to calm down. The freshman screeching at 8:00 am is simply too much for my sleepy ears to withstand for much longer. Stop rushing me as I casually arrive late to my second-period class. No more last-minute deadlines and revisions, the stress is simply unbearable. Please, let’s all find our inner zen this term.
