The most complicated and exhausting day is coming up once again: Mother’s Day. Most of them work hard to help us live our best lives, but they are undoubtedly the worst people to go gift shopping for. Whatever I attempt to buy for this holiday gets utterly and shamelessly rejected by my mom, so here are a few no-no’s when it comes to gift shopping for your mom.

No Store-Bought Cards: Let’s be real here, we’ve all read every trademark CVS card. No one is going to want a message that is printed on a thousand other cards, especially mothers. It’s not worth your money to buy one that you think is slightly creative because I promise you, it’s just not. Take five seconds to write a few sentences that come from the heart, and your mom will be in a good mood for weeks after.

Breakfast in Bed= Disaster Zone: I’m a prime example of the stupidity of attempting this idea. I woke up, tried to put food and a cup of coffee on a platter, and successfully carried it up to my mom until I spilled the coffee all over her sleeping body. Don’t try this one. It’s scarring. 

Grocery Store Flowers are a No No: If you haven’t gotten the theme by now, mothers generally want a gift that feels like their kid put some effort in. Going to Safeway and getting roses is the equivalent of doing nothing for your mom. I’ve also learned this the hard way. Go on a walk in the woods, pick a few wildflowers that look pretty, and watch your mom be over the moon.

Don’t be a Mess: In the words of my own mother, “wash your dish and mine, thankyouverymuch.” Cleaning around your house will never make your mom more annoyed with you than she already is. Try to clean your room on this one day if not any other one, and make sure to make a big show of doing it to get credit.

All in all, I hope your mother has lower standards than mine. Wish me luck as I attempt to plan the day she is so desperately hoping for.