Dear Jackson-Reed Tigers,
Lately our clubs have been lacking. So please, someone please, take these clubs for inspo. We beg.
Desperate Sophomores for Off-Campus Club:
Sophomores, listen up, because this club is only available to you. We would like to propose the “sophomores who will go to any length to get off campus for lunch” club. This club is for the 10th graders that try sneaking out of the glass doors of the music wing, or the ones that beg and plead with Mr. Johnson, trying to get him to believe that you have a doctor’s appointment from 11:50 until 12:30. This club will be held by the sophomore deans. The activities will include sitting in a classroom with no phones and no talking. You will reflect on the ridiculousness of your actions while you daydream out the window for that day when you can finally punch your number out and dally to Chick-Fil-A.
PSC (Pumpkin Spice Chai) Club:
Other than finally completing all your AP and CAPE (if you’re unlucky enough to still take it) testing, one of the best times of year is finally upon us: the Starbucks fall menu. With this year’s return of Pumpkin Spice Chai, pumpkin spice lovers all over are raving over this drink. If you find yourself maybe a little too into this drink (addicted), feel free to join this club (support group.) Here you can all openly share the amount of money you’ve lost, time wasted waiting during that Starbucks rush, and stars spent because of this drink. I’ll be there too.
Dress to Impress Club:
Dress to Impress is more than just a roblox game made for 9 year olds, it’s a lifestyle, a sport, maybe even a cult. This game is leaving high Schoolers in a choke hold. Staying up late at night, neglecting those 7 chapters of Song of Solomon they have yet to read, maybe even breaking their laptop screen from the amount of anger these little kids cause with their one star ratings. If you yourself feel you relate to this in any way, or are just curious what the game is about, drop your roblox user and pull up in Pose 28.
Pushing in the Off-Campus Lunch Line club:
Are you eligible to go off campus for lunch? Or do you do it anyway? Do you find yourself in the off campus lunch line often? If you answered yes to any of those questions, especially the last one, listen up. This is not a diss on everyone who waits in the line, because some of you are normal and actually wait your turn, so keep that in mind. This club is for the people who think that for some reason, they have the right to push and shove their way to the front of the line to get off campus first. First of all, calm down. Why are you so desperate to get into TenleyTown? That’s weird. Second of all, ugh. The line is already a mess as it is, with students stacked on top of each other waiting their turn to enter their ID number, so what is the reason you think it’s valid to bring your grown self with your big backpack on up to the front of the line by pushing and squeezing in between people. I don’t care what your reason is, but you all should join this club of people that don’t know how to act right. I recommend meeting during lunch…everyday.
That’s all the ideas we have for now, tigers. Consider proposing these club ideas to a sponsor if you’re feeling spontaneous or something. It’s never too late to start a club!! Or maybe it is, we don’t really know.
With love, Sam and Dani
