We’re back with another review because new year, same us! At each location we tried both the chocolate chip cookie and a recommended specialty by the counter worker. We also warmed them all up in the oven before tasting them. Warning! There’s some ranting about customer service in this one — sorry!
- Insomnia: most overhyped
We know Insomnia Cookies has some diehard fans, but unfortunately that won’t be us. Sadly, we couldn’t make it in person due to harsh weather conditions, so we were forced to have it delivered. We have MANY bones to pick with the quality of the delivery service. We were not only forced to order on their website, they also took TWO HOURS to get the cookies to us (Caroline lives less than three miles from Insomnia). The aforementioned cookies were also busted when they came to us. But, as this isn’t a delivery service review, we gave them a fair shot. We got chocolate chip, sugar, and a deluxe salted caramel cookie. Right off the bat the presentation was lacking as the cookie was small and measly with the flavor of a store-bought cookie. Safe to say we were VERY disappointed. Nonetheless we continued onto the deluxe cookie. Although a better size, it was a salty greaseball pancake. It wasn’t disgusting because it was a cookie, but they were very mediocre and not worth the price or the wait time. Normal cookies were tiny and around $3, with deluxe cookies averaging about $4-5 each.
- Captain Cookie: worst service
We arrived to a packed restaurant full of four-year-old children and parents who did NOT want us there. Captain Cookie was hosting a children’s party out of their establishment whilst still being open; we have feelings about that as both customers and former four-year-olds. Speaking of former children, we happened to run into a very rude boy at the counter who recognized Caroline and threw shade at the cookies. He was unwilling to recommend a flavor aside from chocolate, so we were left to our own devices and picked a classic snickerdoodle. The chocolate chip cookie was good, but fell short of anything special. The snickerdoodle was also good, but it didn’t bring anything new to the table. Any grocery store could provide the same cookie for half the price; the cookies averaged around $2-3 each. If you happen to be in Cleveland Park, we would recommend trying it, but definitely not worth going out of your way for.
- Chip City: best variety
This was our first stop after a failed journey to Crumbl Cookies (who knew they were closed on Sundays?) and many close encounters with Trump supporters in the wild. To say the least, it was a tough day for us. The Chip City employee did, in fact, comment on how bad we looked, no explanation needed. The cookies at Chip City change weekly, giving us the chance to choose specialty cookies. We ended up getting a chocolate chip, chocolate lava cake, and biscoff cookie butter which cost $15, tax included. The chocolate chip cookie tasted rather floury and raw, and an alarming amount like the Captain Cookie cookie. The specialty cookies really made their mark though; the cookie butter cookie was layered and delish, and the chocolate lava cake cookie tasted nearly identical to a Dominos lava cake. The texture of these cookies were thick and doughy, needless to say: Raw, next question.
- Levain: best overall
Our big winner was Levain! She is an icon who sells thick, crispy, and built like the bus cookies. This was the only place where we didn’t get PERSONALLY attacked by the customer service workers (despite the king at the counter hating on Chip City). This however, didn’t factor into our decision because while Chip City was a close second, Levain always has and will have the wow factor that really makes her special. We walked in ready for something we couldn’t have just made ourselves (and trust we’ve tried) or bought at the store, and she did not disappoint. We got the Two Chip chocolate chip cookie and the coconut caramel chocolate chip. These were our most expensive cookies, but we realized that they came with a higher quality chip. The size was also significantly larger than the other cookies, justifying the price. The Two Chip cookie was good, but if you aren’t a chocolate person and more of a dough person this is not the one for you. It was good, but there are better options. If you don’t have a nut allergy, get the one with walnuts and chocolate chips, and if you don’t have a caffeine intolerance try the new coffee toffee cookie (with a remarkable 52 mg of caffeine)! Anyway, our personal winner was the coconut caramel chocolate chip cookie because it was rich, thick, crispy, and a good balance of chocolate with other flavors. The caramel was minimal, and the coconut was not overbearing but still impacted the flavor of the cookie. They started the business as two friends who really like cookies, just like us! Who knows, maybe that’s us in 10 years.
Takeaways from this experience: don’t ride the metro during inauguration weekend, don’t go to Captain Cookie on a weekend if you are a junior (and remember they are superhero themed and do birthday parties!), check to make sure Crumbl is open before you go to Rockville, and Smallville on Hulu is great if you like superheroes and hot men. Thanks so much! Hope we get to come back with another review! XOXO C&A (get the gossip girl reference)! •