Welcome back to “Are You Smarter than a Freshman?” In honor of Valentine’s Day, this edition, we’re taking one random teacher and putting them head-to-head with a brain-rotted freshman in love!

Today, our contestants are social studies teacher Amy Collins and freshman Alizzon Martinez, who we found in the rose garden jumping for joy after the TikTok ban was lifted. We initially planned for another social studies teacher, Robert Geremia, to join us as a contestant, but when we asked him, he simply refused. 

Each contestant answers ten questions about romantic brain rot terms to prepare them for their secret admirers on Valentine’s Day. They are also provided with one lifeline of their choice. 

Without further ado, let’s find out who’s smarter!

Q: Define rizz 

Collins: Like…swag…or like if someone has rizz, they’re attractive

Alizzon: It’s like when you’re talking to someone, I don’t how to explain it, but you’re just rizzy

Q: What’s the most attractive male haircut?

Collins: A high and tight fade (0.5 points for having half the answer)

Alizzon: The low taper fade

Q: When is cuffing season?

Collins: Winter, you want to get cuffed so you can be locked down for Valentine’s Day

Alizzon: February 

Q: What is the most attractive type of mannerism?

Collins: I don’t know, but for me it is confidence 

Alizzon: Nonchalant

Q: Define huzz

Collins: Slang for my husband? 

Alizzon: Someone who is attractive, but there are different types, like chuzz

Q: What’s an ick?

Collins: Someone that gives you the cringe, that makes you ew

Alizzon: When the huzz does something you don’t like

Q: What’s it called when someone gives too many compliments?

Collins: I have no idea; they’re probably blowing smoke up your *** (derriere)

Alizzon: Glazing

Q: Finish the lyrics: Dekubopdem, I was the knight in ______

Collins: Camelot?

Alizzon: (After using a lifeline) shining armor

Q: Define the acronym: WYLL

Collins: I feel like what I’m about to say is inappropriate, so what I’m going to do is defer

Alizzon: What you look like?

Q: What podcast should you watch on a first date?

Collins: Call your daddy?… Call me daddy?… Wait, Call Her Daddy!?

Alizzon: Talk Tuah

The winner of “Are You Smarter than a Freshman?” is…Alizzon! With a score of ten, she came out on top with 2.5 more correct answers than Collins. 

Freshman and teachers, keep up with your facts. Who knows, you may be our next contestant! •

Answers: 

(1) Charismatic, successful when flirting (2) Low taper fade (3) Winter or February 

(4) Nonchalant (5) Crush-worthy, attractive individual (6) Something that makes someone less attractive (7) Glazing (8) “Shining armor” (bonus points for: in your movie) (9) What [do] you look like? (10) Talk Tuah