Prom is coming up, and we all know what that means: trying to get a date to bring with you. So, out of the goodness of my heart, I’ve decided to help you out by compiling a list of ways to ask out your dream date! From best to worst, I’ve got you covered. Whether you’re socially awkward or outgoing and charming, I’m sure one of these options will work for you!
For our very first one, if you’re rich but you think your dream date won’t go out with you, then no problem. I present bribery, a US tradition since 1776! Just give them $200-$1000 (it could depend on how much they’re asking) to go out with you. (But don’t make it $100, because then you’re just getting nowhere).
Option two is a hopelessly romantic serenade to your dream date. If both you and your dream date crave attention, then this is the option for you! Though it may sound corny, showering someone with rose petals when they come to class is not only sweet, but makes your dream date feel loved and shows them how much you care about them. (Although buying all those roses and then cutting off the petals could get a little tedious and expensive).
Number three will DEFINITELY not just catch the attention of your crush, but of the entire school. It is risky, especially if your crush is shy and hates attention. It is a little old school, so make sure to execute it right. This suggestion also appeared on Grey’s Anatomy, and if you have not guessed it already, it is a flash mob! Even though flash mobs are timeless, in my personal opinion, I WOULD NEVER want a flash mob (I think I’d be too embarrassed).
Number four is a centuries-old tradition that was considered to be a very romantic gesture back in the day (whenever that was): poetry. In fact, even the famous playwright Shakespeare would write love poems to his crushes—and you can too, as long as you don’t screw it up. Though your crush may find a bad love poem asking them out to prom funny, it could also turn out to be a huge turn-off. Poems rarely get to the point, and they’re difficult to write, especially if you’re not patient or eloquent.
If you get to this fifth option, you may just prefer to write a poem instead. If you’re a guy who really wants to go the extra mile for his dream prom date, then serenading them with one of Taylor Swift’s many romantic songs might just do the trick (as long as they like Taylor Swift, if not, then they’ll just be weirded out). Again it might just repulse them —especially if you’re a bad singer.
For these next few options, I had to consult current biology teacher, Pierre Heard, who has surprisingly chaperoned several proms in his life. One of his first suggestions was, strangely enough, organizing a barber quartet. So, if you can’t sing Taylor Swift’s high notes, then you may just have to look to some of your friends. Even though it’s a little odd, your dream date might just have a secret love for barbershop quartets!
This next suggestion from Mr. Heard is actually a pretty fun option, and adds an air of excitement to asking out your dream date. A deal or no deal suitcase is an awesome way to ask out your dream date, unless they pick the wrong suitcase—then it might just be awkward for both of you. Anyway, if you’ve never watched the show ‘Deal or no Deal’ I highly recommend it!
Now, this is definitely one of the worst ways to ask out your crush for the prom, especially if you want to be embarrassed for the rest of your life, as we are going to a third party. It’s one thing to ask your grandmother for advice on how to ask out someone (not that you SHOULD EVER do that) but it’s a whole ‘nother to have your grandmother ask out your crush for you (I don’t even think I have to explain why).
This one is the last one Mr. Heard suggested, and in my opinion, I find it a mix of weird and downright stalker-y. But, who knows, your crush may enjoy having flyers all over the school begging them to go out with you. Additionally, printing out all those flyers to put all over the school takes time, it could get expensive, and it’s not very eco-friendly (I’m sure Greta Thunberg would agree).
Phew, this has been a LONG list—and for our very last one, you’ll be breaking a few legal boundaries, but who cares? Hiding out in your dream date’s closet the night before prom and then kidnapping them, to bring them to the prom isn’t only desperate but a felony, as it breaks DC law codes 22-2001 and 22-801. After some research, I’m pretty sure that breaking those law codes will amount to 31 years of jail time. So, this option is probably NOT a good one. While some of these options haven’t been exactly legal, or normal, some of these might just be what gets you your dream date!
Anyway, thanks for your time, and hopefully you have a good prom! I wish you all the best!
